intercultural differences (tiger moms vs the liberal)

This argument about kids happened in suburban America, between Mrs Tan, a ‘tiger mum’, and Mrs Kail, a liberal American.

Mrs Tan’s son, Jim, had just returned from school, holding in his hands his school report, which he gave to his mother. Apparently unsatisfied with the results, she grew angry, the color of her face changing to red. She proceeded to shout and scream, scolding Jim mercilessly for not getting the results SHE knew he was capable of. The loud voices attracted the attention of Mrs Kail, who lived next doors. Thinking something was wrong, she looked into Mrs Tan’s house, and was alarmed to see Jim getting scolded in such a harsh manner. She immediately called out to Mrs Tan, and started trading words with her. Their argument escalated to such an extent that Mrs Kail actually threatened to call in the police, wanting to report the incident as a case of child abuse. Mrs Tan was understandably baffled and upset at what she thought was an intrusion into a private matter, and that Mrs Kail should mind her own business, given that she never interfered with how Mrs Kail taught her kids.

Looking at this conflict, we can see the obvious cultural difference between Mrs Tan and Mrs Kail. Mrs Tan is a ‘tiger mum’, a phrase coined by Ms Amy Chua to describe mothers who parent their kids using the ‘Chinese way’, which involves scolding and corporal punishments. The ‘moderate’ way of parenting however, tends to avoid these ‘hard’ punishments, preferring to use methods like grounding and withholding of privileges as punishments instead.

Personally, I think that there is no ‘correct’ way of parenting, as can be seen from the deluge of parenting books out in the market, all recommending different styles of parenting. We should be more tolerant of others and open-minded too, because for all we know, we could learn from things that seem ‘unorthodox’ or ‘wrong’ to us at first!